How To Use NLP Embedded Commands in a Job Interview

NLP Embedded Commands – how to use in a Job Interview

NLP embedded commands are used by hypnotherapists to make a phobic no longer afraid of a spider. NLP embedded commands are used by master influencers to con unsuspecting public. NLP embedded commands are used by mentalists, such as Darren Brown to get you to do whatever they want.

As you can see the power behind NLP embedded commands is sot string that you can take command of any situation. These skills are highly transferable to the job interview. The goal of the interviewee is to create desire; you want the employer to want you.

This article will teach you what an NLP embedded command is, how to set up an embedded command and how to use NLP embedded commands in your job interview answer.

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NLP Embedded Commands Broken Down

An embedded command is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis technique for “planting” a thought (state, process, or experience) within the mind of another person without the person’s conscious awareness.

The embedded command is broken into three sections;

The set-up

First, you need to set up the embedded command (this set up hides the command in the structure of a sentence (or interview answer).

  • “When you..”
  • “You can…”
  • “The more you…”
  • “You want to..”
  • “If you were to…”

The Command

Second, you need to add the “Command” (this gets the interviewer to do X without them knowing why they are doing X) .

  • “Feel….”
  • “Think about…”
  • “Imagine…”
  • “Notice…”
  • “Remember..”

State, process or experience

Thirdly finish the embedded command with a State, Process or Experience: 

  • “A change of mind”
  • “Excitement”
  • “That I am right”
  • “You agree”
  • “Joy”

Embedding the Embedded Command in a Job Interview Answer

When using the embedded command in a job interview you only need to focus on 2 key things.

First think about the desired outcome – what process, state or experience do you want to employer/interviewer to feel?

Second when you state the “Command” and “SPE” raise your voice, or slightly change your tone, or leave a short pause before and after the command. This allows the subconscious to process the command without conscious awareness.

Interview questions and answers

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Common asked Interview questions and example embedded command answers

Example common interview questions:

  1. tell me about yourself
  2. what are your strengths 
  3. what are your weaknesses 

To answer these commonly asked job interview questions, start your answer before using the embedded command.

Tell me about yourself

I have over 20 years of experience in this sector. My key strengths include X, Y and Z (add your own strengths here) as you will notice I am highly passionate about this role and it is this passion along with my experience that has made me highly successful. My key achievements include (add your key achievement) Overall I have a range of skills and experiences that will be highly useful to you and your organisation and when you need me to step up and take on any extra task, you will know I am reliable and flexible. 

What are your strengths?

My previous manager often said that I was highly motivated with everything I did. But for me, that is just having a good work ethic. I consider a strength something that others don’t possess. If I had to pick one of my key strengths (this presupposes that you have more than one key strength) I would choose my ability to turn around projects on the blink of failing into a success. You will agree with me that this is no easy feat. The way I approach this task is by analyzing the project brief, the successes and what hasn’t worked.  This overview tells me what I first need to concentrate on. If you feel that I would fit in with your team, this is a skill we could collaborate on together, sharing the same successes I have had with previous organisations.

What are your weaknesses?

Everyone has weaknesses. If you offer me the job you will know that I am the type of person who will work hard to overcome any weaknesses that I recognise. In fact, I often search for any areas of development as I see this as the perfect opportunity to develop my skills and knowledge. In my last company, I had never used their database before, so I spent time reading the manuals, being trained through other members of staff and practicing. In quick succession, due to having strong ICT skills, I become skilled in this and was asked to teach other new recruits.

Get Ready for Your Interview

I really love going to interviews, strange I know, especially when so many people dread the prospect. For me though this is the only time I get to tell a group of strangers how  wonderful and amazing I am, if I did this in a restaurant or pub people would think I was strange and I probably wouldn’t be invited back.

From your job searching you will now have started receiving those interview invitations, to have reached this stage you can be confident in the knowledge that an employer likes you  and has selected you from around 50 other people. All you need to is prove you’re a better employee then the other 5 or so candidates they have also selected for interview.

Today you are going to learn the secrets of Interviews; I will explain how to prepare for an interview and how to act in an interview.

NLP and Job Interviews

You will also learn how to mentally prepare; how to have instant confidence and how to gain rapport quickly by mirroring, pacing and leading. These techniques are used in Psychology, Body language techniques and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) you have already used NLP techniques in previous sections. By practising and using these techniques you will have the pick of job roles and companies you want to work for.

First, imagine yourself in a month’s time, walking downstairs early one morning just as the postal worker has delivered the mail, as you walk towards the door you see the letter, you knows it is from an employer, you feel butterflies in your stomach and your mouth becomes dry. As you pick it up you tell yourself “it must be an interview”, you take a deep breath and open the letter. You have been offered an interview.

At this point a large amount of people instantly become nervous and find they lack in confidence. If you are one of these people you may then start to imagine yourself going to the interview, being nervous, not being able to answer any questions. Your imagination might even take this further, and you can see yourself being employed, making mistakes, and other staff telling you how rubbish and under-qualified you are. You then start to feel even worse; you start to feel like a fake for even applying for this job.

Has this ever happened to you? To combat this many people will look for a way out in the application process, as they fear being rejected in a job. As people congratulate you for your interview offer, you may reply with “I’m not sure I’m going go to the interview” “I’m not sure this job is for me” or “I don’t know if I can do this job”. Each time you tell someone this you reinforce the belief that you can’t do the job and in the end you don’t even attend the interview.

Does this sound familiar? Have you seen yourself or others doing this? Have you felt the same way? Many people follow this negative process end up refusing to attend the interview and then stop job searching all together. Six months later they try again and start again at the beginning of their own negative circle. I have met and supported people who have been unemployed for up to 25 years and it was often nerves that initially stopped them attending job interviews.

If this happens to you, you need to reprogram your mind to have positive confident thoughts instead of negative thoughts. Try this quick confidence technique.

Job Interview Confidence

Imagine now, that you were naturally a confident person, feeling really confident right now. That confidence was glowing inside you and that this was visible to all that looked at you. You always feel at ease with yourself and the world around you.

How would your posture be? Take notice of your stance. How would your voice sound? What would you be saying to yourself? What would you be imagining in your mind? Consider these things and use them before an interview to bring back this confidence, alter your stance, imagine these same things and you shall feel an elevated sense of confidence.

If you imagined these things you will already be feeling more positive than a few minutes ago. Imagine you can feel this way before any interview, how much more likely would you be to gain a job offer?

It is amazing the amount of people who gain an interview and don’t attend because of fear, they won’t admit it is fear and normally give an excuse that they didn’t really want this job even though they have dedicated two days to completing the application form. Don’t be one of these people or you will never achieve anything.

Interview Fear

We are not born with most fears, we create them ourselves; if you relate to the above example and your mind takes you on a wild trip to a negative emotional place every time you think about interviews then each time you gain an interview your fear will increase, as it does with a phobia. However, just like with a phobia it can cured and you can find your own path to becoming more confident.

I recommend you find a quiet room where you will not be disturbed and read this exercise several times before practicing it:

1)         Again imagine yourself in the future going to an interview, do you feel nervous?

2)         When you see yourself in the future at an interview acting nervous and not answering the questions, do you see this in colour? Is it big and bright? Do you feel like you are there, rather then you watching you on a film? Is the sound loud?

In most cases you will be answering yes to all these questions. By being in a bright and colour film you get attached to this image and your emotions work as if this is ‘real life’ (this is the same as when someone has a fear of spiders, they are just as scared talking about spiders as they are when one is put in front of them.)

3)         Try stepping out of the image; watch the image as a film on a screen rather than being surrounded by the event. Now pause the film. You are already starting to feel detached from your emotions. Put a frame on the picture, turn off the colour. Your emotions are now disappearing; make the image small and push it away from you, make the image fuzzy and out of focus so that you can’t really see what is happening. Now your negative emotions have stopped as you are now fully disassociated from your thoughts.

4)         Repeat step 3, three times.

By making small changes to our thoughts, making colour pictures black and white, transforming large images to small and pushing close images far away, we can easily change our emotions.

If you can change your emotions to become more confident and have a positive outlook you can achieve whatever you want. Later you will learn how gain confidence before an interview.

If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail

On average candidates receive their invite to interview a week before the event – this gives you a week to prepare!

Always ensure you know how to get to the interview venue – (complete a mock run of your journey) you will create the wrong impression by being late. Complete you mock run at the same time of day that you would have to do it for real, the traffic may be heavier or lighter at different time. Traffic is usually at its heaviest between 8-10 and 4-3, also consider traffic works which could add a long time onto your perceived journey time.

Prepare your Dress– I once had a client who was enrolled on a redundancy course that I was leading. He was a very confident man who was keen to start work. He applied for many jobs and quickly rewarded with an interview. We practiced interview techniques and discussed interview clothes- he told he had an expensive suit that he would wear. On the day of the interview he telephoned me in a panic saying his suit did not fit-he hadn’t wore the suit in over two years!

Re-read your CV/ Application Form – Employers will often ask you questions on what you have written-another reason as to why you should never lie on your application!

Research the company – ‘Can you tell me what you know about our organisation?’ This is a very commonly asked question, researching the company is easy with the use of the internet. Research at least the bare bones of the organisation -find out how long the company has been established for and if they have won any new contracts, do they have any links with the local community. (You also want to research the company to ensure this is the type of company you want to work for)

Practice interview answers (see common asked interview questions below)/Prepare for further testing on day such as Literacy Exam or presentation if required.

You need to set yourself some time during the week before your interview to practice the interview questions. What will they ask? In truth we don’t know exactly what questions an interviewer will ask, but we can have an informed idea.

First think about the job you are applying for, what duties will you be performing, what skills and qualities do you need for this job. Most employers will ask questions around this.

What you need to remember, when you have been invited for an interview especially after a big recruitment campaign is that an employer likes you. You have been offered an interview; whatever you have written on your Application has impressed the interviewer. On average a company will interview 6 people for every one job.

Also many interviewers are nervous; this may be the first time they have interviewed and often even long term managers who have interviewed before will be nervous –it’s not just us!

A good interviewer will invite you in and start by telling you a little about the company-This is there selling pitch, remember they want you. Out of all the people who have applied they have picked you along with five others to interview. They will know that it is highly likely that you have applied for several jobs and they are also aware that if they like you that so will other employers. That’s why an interviewer will be keen to share with you the particular benefits of working for their company.

They will then ask you introduction questions to relax you and get you talking before asking you the interview questions. You can use these opening questions to help sell yourself. Often you will be asked ‘Did you find us ok?’, most people’s response would be ‘Yes, I found it easily thank you.’ Whilst this is a perfectly satisfactory response the opportunity to sell yourself has not been maximised which is the whole point of the interview! A better answer would be  “Yes I did thank you, I drove down yesterday so I knew I would be able to find it and to ensure that I was on time, sometimes I think I’m over organised but I never want to be late.

Whilst you won’t be given a job based on one well answered question you need to think of every answer as a building block, each contributing to the interviewer’s image of you – the finished product. If you were to give the above response you would have already presented yourself are a good timekeeper “ensure I was on time” “I never want to be late” and your organised “I’m over organised” this is before the formal interview questions had even begun!

We only remember around a third of what we are told. An interviewer will normally be interviews all day-how much do you think an interviewer would remember about your interview? How much would you remember if you were in their shoes? You need to stick out from the other interviewees; you need rapport with the interviewer, this way they will remember you (Instant Rapport is covered in later on in this section)

On average we remember three negatives to every one positive, you need to practice your interview questions and word your answers positively, never saying any negatives. When you see a chocolate bar being advertised on TV they tell you how much energy they give you, how tasty they are and they never tell you they damage the enamel on your teeth or make you put on extra weight.

By now you should know about the industry you are applying for, you will know about the terminology they use in that industry and about the skills, qualities and duties that you will need for this type of work. It is these skills, qualities and duties that you will be asked questions on.

Below are some of the most common asked questions at interviews situation, along with a rough guideline to help you tackle them effectively: You need to answer your interview questions thinking about the skills and qualities needed for the job you are applying for.

Tell me about yourself

For this question give a brief introduction about yourself, think of a good opening line, be really positive talk about previous positions and any significant achievements – ensure what you talk about is relevant to the job you are applying for.

What are your strengths?

This is one of the most common questions you will be asked. Give an answer relevant to the skills and qualities relevant to the position you are applying to. The interviewer is trying to find if your strengths match the job. For example, if you are applying for a job where accuracy is an important issue, one of your strengths could be that you have an eye for detail.  It may useful to find different words to describe similar attributes and qualities in order to avoid repetition.

What are your weaknesses?

Again, another commonly asked question.  A frequent mistake to make when answering this question is to say something negative like “I can sometimes let things get on top of me”. Be positive and sell yourself with every interview question, turn a negative into a positive. For example, “In the past I felt I needed to improve my typing skills, because I wanted to be the best I can so I have recently enrolled on a typing course”. This will show that you can identify your weaknesses but at the same time, you are willing to improve. Most importantly: do not mention a weakness that is any way related to the job you are being interviewed for! This might sound obvious but it is a common mistake!

What do you enjoy doing outside of work?

This is sometimes asked as an opening question to get you talking and to calm your nerves, a lot of people answer “Socialising with friends” “Playing on my computer” “Taking my family on day trips”. Whilst these are valid and honest answers they do not really bring anything to the table that is special, that makes you stand out.

If you can say that you volunteer you will be guaranteed to impress! Although this should be truthful! You can apply to volunteer in any area you like, ideally in a position relevant to the job you are applying for. Volunteering is seen as a positive activity by all employers, you only need to volunteer once or twice a month and when you can answer this question  with “Currently I’m volunteering for Oxfam, I really get allot out of helping others…” you can see that there are few who wouldn’t be impressed with that answer.

Why did you leave you last job?

A dreaded question for many! When answering this question never give a negative answer.  “I did not get on with my manager” or “The management did not run the business well” will show you in a negative light and reduce your chance of a job offer. Answer the question positively, emphasising that you have been looking for a career progression. Start by telling the interviewer what you gained from your last job “I enjoyed my last job, I quickly learned how to multi-task…”

If you were made redundant, let the interviewer know, this is not a negative.

Where do you see yourself in 4-5 years time?

Tell the interviewer how you want to progress through their company, a manager does not want to be re-advertising and interviewing in a year’s time, do not infer that you may want to leave after a certain amount of time. “I am really keen to learn how your company operates; I can see myself attending any available training and using this knowledge and my own drive and ambition to work my way up the company.” It may be useful to see if there are any formal progression tracks or training programmes.

Why do you want to work here?

An interviewer knows you are applying for other jobs, you may be offered a job with this employer, start employment and then leave for another job offer. An interviewer would never say this affects who they pick (and a large amount of companies using a scoring system to stop this from happening). But would you offer someone a job if you thought that they weren’t fully committed to your company? Show the interviewer how enthusiastic you are about the job, industry and their company. “Your company has such a good reputation and I know you have the ‘Investors in People’ award and this impresses me. I have been following your company for the last couple of years and I have seen how you have grown and I feel I would like to be a part of this.”

Have you got any questions for me?

Most interviewers ask this question and generally towards the end of the interview. Remember to prepare for this, as asking questions will be a great end to an excellent interview. Ask about company expansion, the team you will work with and anything to do with new contracts and personal development/training.

TAKE NOTE- If an interviewer asks you a question and you give a positive answer but not the answer the interviewer was looking for, they will often re-word the interview question for you-Listen to the 2nd interview question as they often give you a clue to what they answer they are looking for.

“How would you promote our services to the local community?”

“TV and radio are excellent ways of promoting products depending on the time slots you use to advertise our products. A cheaper but also effect way to advertise would be billboards and magazine spaces”

If this wasn’t the information the interviewer was looking for, the next question maybe

“Have you ever made Telephone calls or completed face to face sales?”

You may answer;

“Yes this was part of my last role, I’m very confident with face to face and telephone sales. I feel this gives a personal touch and increases returning customers”

An employer would only ask a question about face to face sales if their company used face to face sales. Always listen to what people are saying, they often give clues, think about questions from the employers point of view ask as the employer “why would I ask this question? What is the interviewer trying to uncover?”

Now you will learn many Interview Secrets to help you gain a job offer from an interview, these techniques have been taken from Psychology, NLP and Body Language research. On their own they can each make a difference, together they will increase your job offers instantly.

As many of you will already know, there are many different types and styles of job interviews.  You need to understand why employers use different interviews to help you prepare for them. The explanation of each below is to give you an overview of the different ‘types’ of interviews, if you are invited to one of these different ‘types’ of interviews you will now know more about them and will feel more confident about attending them.

Screening Interview

A screening interview is a brief interview used by employers to quickly and efficiently eliminate unsuitable or unqualified interviewees. This is usually carried out over the telephone and tends to focus on confirming and clarifying that you have to essential minimum requirements needed for the job you are applying for (Essential requirements will be found in the Job spec of the application pack).  Employers use this to save time and money during the interview process.

Speculative On the spot Interview

As we said above if you apply for a job speculatively by walking into a business, you have to be prepared to have an On the Spot Interview. This interview will be informal and unstructured as the interview/manager would have not prepared any questions and again wants to see if you have the minimum requirements for the job you are applying for before offering you a full interview.

Telephone/webcam interview

You are likely to have a telephone interview for all jobs that requires you to use the telephone as the main job duty. Telephone and webcam interviews can be used when the interviewee cannot attend an initial interview (Perhaps due to the job role being overseas) This type of interview again is used to save recruitment costs and in order to decide which candidates they want to interview face to face.

Face to Face Interview

This is the most common interview; the interview can sometimes be informal as only one person is involved. The interviewer will often have a series of prepared questions designed to find out if you have the skills, qualities and knowledge for the position you are applying for. Often the manager or HR representative will carry out this interview.

Panel interviews

In this type of interview you will be questioned by several people making up the panel. The actual number of interviewers can vary depending on the company (some companies use two person panel interviews because the manager has not interviewed before) On the panel they may have an expert/manager who knows the job you are applying for and will coordinate the interview and questions. Or the panel (normally when this is a panel of 2 or 3) will co-ordinate the questions between them. Ensure you look at each member of the panel and involve them during the interview.

Follow Up Interview

This often happens when you are applying with large companies that have a big recruitment drive on. Only a small number of interviewees will be asked to attend a follow up interview. If you are one of them then this is a great sign -it shows you that an employer is very interested in you!

Group Interview

This is an informal interview with a large number of other interviewees often for customer service based roles. You will be asked discuss a topic or complete a problem-solving exercise. A group interview can last anywhere from two hours to a whole day. Interviewers will be watching for your contribution and your role within the group. Consider what skills they would like to see from you. As a natural leader you may be great at organising and getting the task in hand done but you might need to be aware of using your listening skills and allowing others to talk.

The Sequential Interview

Sequential interviews are where an applicant is interviewed in stages. You may have to complete certain tests including Literacy and Numeracy. You may be asked to attend interviews with several people, with each interviewer asking questions relating to a different aspect of the job role.

As you can see there are several interviews that you may be asked to attend, as long as you are prepared and understand the job you are applying for you will do well. As all the questions/exercises/test you are asked to complete will be relevant to the job you are applying for.

Job Interview Confidence

I have met and worked with a wide range of individuals, and most people apply for jobs they can be successful in, sometimes this will be a challenging job role but deep down they know with hard work they will succeed. So why do so many people fail at interviews, in most cases it is due to confidence. As we said earlier you can change your state easily, even by thinking about being confident you can become more confident. This exercise will help you anchor a confident state before every interview.

1. The Situation. First think of a situation when you would like to feel your best and most resourceful self (Interview) Draw an imaginary circle on the ground in front of you. Make it a generous circle of about three feet in diameter.

2. Relive Confidence. Stand up and let yourself go back in your memory to a time when you were very confident, abundantly confident. Get back to it strongly; see what you saw and hear what you heard. Notice what you are feeling and how good it feels reliving that moment…

3. In the Circle –  As you feel the confidence building step into the circle. What colour would you like the circle to be? Would you like it to have a sound like a soft hum that indicates how powerful it is? What is the sound like? How does it feel? Are you relaxed, excited, strong? How is your posture and breathing right now? Notice the position of your feet and hands, the tilt of your head. When the feeling of confidence is at its fullest, step out of the circle, leaving those positive confident feelings, colours and sounds inside the circle. Break state.

4. Repeat the exercise with a second experience if you want to add further resourceful states to the circle or if the circle doesn’t feel strong enough. Repeat as many times as necessary. The circle is limitless and you can keep adding more confidence and power resources to the circle over time.

5. Selecting Cues. Now think of a specific time in the future when you want to have that same feeling of super confidence (Interview). See and hear what will be happening just before you want to feel confident. How will the scene unfold? What is the cue to knowing that it is nearly time to step into the circle? It could be the opening of an office door or shaking hands with an interviewer.

6. Step into the Circle of Excellence! Feel the confidence there for you again, the colour the sounds, the confident breathing and posture. Imagine the scene unfolding exactly the way to want it too with all your confident feelings and resources fully available for you.

7. Check Results. Now step out of the circle again, leaving those confident feelings there in the circle. Outside the circle, take a moment and think again of that upcoming event or situation. You’ll find you’ll automatically recall those confident feelings. This means that you’ve already reprogrammed yourself for that upcoming situation and you are already feeling better resourced for it. When the time comes you will naturally feel more confident and if you want to add more power to those positive feeling, your circle of excellence is only ever one footstep away.

The more you practice these techniques the stronger your confidence will become.

Arrival at the Job Interview 

The interview starts when you go through the door. Arrive 10-15 minutes early this way you get a chance to sit down in reception and take in the surroundings. This will help you relax.

In most cases you will be sat in reception, waiting for your interview. If there is a receptionist, ask her a couple of questions “Have you worked here long?” – Any work related conversation, this helps in several ways one you will get a better idea if this is the company for you?

An interviewer will often ask the receptionist for their opinions on the applicants -if you have made small talk with the receptionist they should be happy to give you a glowing reference.

Also when an interviewer comes out to ask you in for the interview, and they see you both having a professional conversation it instantly creates a good impression. Always say, “It was nice to meet you” to the Receptionist before walking away with the interviewer, they will often wish you good luck.

You have now made a great first impression with the employer and receptionist and have already started to talk and answer questions. This will work wonders in eliminating those first few question nerves and shall prepare you for the interview start.

Research has shown that interviewers make an opinion about you in the first 2-3 minutes of meeting you, in most cases this is on a subconscious level. This is due to your body language, dress and how you communicate. You can change an employer’s opinion throughout the interview, but why bother to do that when you can learn how to create instant rapport in the first instance.

If an employer has a negative opinion about you, every time you answer a question they will look at your answer with a negative attitude, thinking more about the negative than the positives.  An employer who likes you will always look for the positives from your questions – this is what we want!

This happens in everyday life, when you like someone you look for the funny side of their jokes and the interesting facts in their conversation. When you don’t like someone you instantly want to find untruths in their conversation and search for offensive undertones in their jokes.

How do you create instant Rapport?

These techniques will not only help you gain more job offers but will also help you in everyday life, having healthier family relationships and in personal relationships.

Have you ever walked into a Room, Party, Pub or anywhere else for that matter, looked around the room and thought “That group of people seem nice, but there is something strange about that other group.” or whilst walking down the street, you will see someone walking towards you and you feel the need to cross the road as there is something untrustworthy about the person walking towards you. While there are others you wouldn’t mind standing very close to you at a busy bar?

Our unconscious mind likes people who are the “same” as us, this can be how that person dresses and often it is in the others person body language. If someone has the same style of body language as us we will instantly be pulled towards him or her.

We can use this psychology in interviews, we call it “Mirroring” all you have to do is “mirror” the interviewer’s body language and gestures. If they tilt there head to the side, you tilt your head to the side. If the interviewer slightly leans forward, you slightly lean forward. This has an effect of putting the interviewer in a receptive and relaxed frame of mind. This is because Mirroring gives the impressed that you see things from the interviewer’s point of view.

Does mirroring work? The most noticeable form of mirroring is yawning, if one person in a room yawn, everyone starts to yawn.

This really works, don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself, first with family members while you’re watching the television, then with friends on social activities and then with strangers at parties. It takes a little practice, as you carry out this exercise you notice a different response and attitude in people and how they act around you.

Back to the beginning, the interviewer will collect you from reception or ask a receptionist to bring you through. With a big smile, hold out your hand and introduce yourself.

Shaking Hands with an Interviewer

You want to give an employer an equal handshake, you don’t want to dominate the interviewer and you don’t want to be seen as submissive, again these thoughts are always subconscious. If you ask an interviewer they will often say they make their mind up about someone after the interview. Research has proven this to be wrong.

If you shake hands with your palm facing upwards you will come across as submissive – From this we can see the origins of the phrase – “Giving someone the upper hand”.

If you shake hands with you palm facing downwards you come across as domineering or aggressive.

You need to shake hands with your palm facing sideways, as this will give an equal handshake.

If an employer walks towards you with their palm facing downwards (they want to dominate you) all you need to do is take their hand and clasp your other hand on the back of their hand and use this to gently turn their hand so that it faces sideways.

During the interview:

Now you will be asked to sit down, this is the time to start mirroring the interviewer, if the interviewer slightly leaning back or forward you lean back or forward. If their hands are locked together you should lock your hands together also. (If you become increasingly nervous, lock your fingers together as this will stop you from fidgeting-a sure sign that you are nervous and this is on a conscious level not an unconscious level)

By now you would have practiced and mastered the act of Mirroring and you will have built up your evidence that illustrates the big difference it makes.

By mirroring your interviewer you will start creating Rapport, the interviewer will like you and not necessarily know why, not that many people ask why they like someone, though they often want to find out what they don’t like about.

NLP Eye and Language Accessing cues:

Eye movements indicate how a person is thinking – whether they are imagining a future or past event, internally re-hearing a sound or making up a sound, talking to themselves, or attending to their feelings.

Derren Brown uses this technique during his hit TV shows (Look for ‘American Car Dealers’ on his webpage and click on the video)

Our eye and language accessing cues can often give us a preference to our “learning style” your preference will either be Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic (Feeling). Warning – We all regularly use all 3 of these senses but each of us has a preference.

Why is this important? We all see, hear and feel the world around us in a different way, if you are talking to a Visual person with kinaesthetic language they often won’t often be able to appreciate what you are trying to get across to them.

Visual people will often use words like; Birds-Eye View, Focus, Glance, Take a dim view, Mind’s eye, Vision, Imagine, Examine, Expose, Graphic, Outlook, Vague.

Visual people will often look up as they talk (Visualising pictures in their mind)

Auditory people will often use words like; Clear as a Bell, Outspoken, Word for Word, Mention, Manner of Speaking, Loud and Clear, Report, Say, Shout, Sing, Silence.

Auditory people will often look to the side when talking (towards their ears)

Kinaesthetic people will often use words like; Affected, Feel, Heat, Cold, Emotional, Touch Tickle, Tap, Heated, Handle, Hot-headed, Tied, Irritate, Get a Load of This.

Kinaesthetic people will often look down when talking (towards their feelings; stomach)

How can this help? By knowing someone’s primary representational system you can use this when communicating with them. This enhances communication as you are “speaking their language” and increases rapport. Like we said before if someone feels you’re like them, they will like you. If you use the interviewer’s representational system preferences when answering questions the interviewer will understand exactly what you are trying to get across to them.

Have you ever tried to get a point over to someone and they just don’t understand to matter how much you repeat yourself? In most cases this happens when to people with different representational preferences are having a conversation. If you used different “wording” to match their representational preference it would have made a big difference.

How would you respond to this statement?

“I see, but I’m not visualising these new ideas of yours”-Visual Person

How would you answer?

  • “I can give you a clear picture by showing you this illustration
  • “You will feel different once you’re given the hard evidence and you will be able to get to grips with it
  • “Once you hear the results word for word, it will be clear as a bell

Practice this on friends and family before you go to an interview; the more you practice the more natural it will become and watch how people’s reaction to your conversation changes. This really works and is so easy to learn.

Eye Cues in more detail:

Looking Up and to the right-Visual Remembered
What is the colour of the shirt you wore yesterday?
Which of your friends has the shortest hair?

Looking up and to the left-Visual Constructed
What would your room look like if it were painted yellow with big purple circles?
Can you imagine the top half of a tiger on the bottom half of an elephant?

Looking to the Right (towards ears) -Auditory Remembered
What does your best friend’s voice sound like?
Which is louder, your doorbell or your telephone?

Looking to the Left (towards ears) – Auditory Constructed
What will your voice sound like in 10 years?
What would it sound like if you played your two favourite pieces of music at the same time?

Looking down to the Right – Auditory Digital
What is something you continually tell yourself?
What are your thoughts about this article?

Looking Down to the Left-Kinaesthetic
What does it feel like to walk barefoot on a cool sandy beach?
What does it feel like when you rub your fingers on sandpaper?

During the interview, you will realise you have all the answers to the interviewer’s questions, as you have researched the industry, job role, duties and skills and qualities. From this you have practiced the interview questions and answers. As you answer the questions giving detailed and relevant questions using your own life and work experience you feel more and more confident.

During the interview, you will be mirroring the interviewer and using the interviewer’s language to answer the questions creating instant rapport. Towards the end of the interview you will be asked if you have any questions, as above you will have several questions to ask the interviewer.

The interview has now come to an end, the interviewer will thank you for your time and will give you a date when they will be in touch. As you stand up shake hands with the interviewer(s) and thank them for their time.

Once you leave the interview and breathe a sigh of relief, find somewhere quiet to sit, maybe a park or even when you’re at home. Have a pad of paper and a pen and think about your interview, what questions were you asked? What did you answer well? What do you need to do to improve your interviews? Always self reflect as this is the only way to improve your interviews. By now you will probably have several interviews lined up, each interview should be better than the last?

Think about all aspects of the interview and scale each section between 1-9, with 1 being you low and 9 being high.

Write in each box what you would need to do to move up the scale.

Interview /questions

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Example:

Introduction

could do with giving more detail

Shaking Hands

Good firm hand shake

Asking questions

 

Need to prepare questions

Use a copy of this table after every interview 

Interview /questions

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Embedded Commands – Influencing your Colleagues and Managers

Imagine that you can master the art of using embedded commands to persuade others to follow your lead? Persuasion techniques are highly powerful, the issue isn’t how powerful these techniques are but how you can use them to improve your career prospects, if you could persuade others, how would this benefit your career?

As you are sat down at your laptop/computer reading this article, you are already becoming more aware of when you can use embedded commands in your every day life. Others who have successfully used embedded commands, after reading this article, now know how plant an idea into a colleagues head during a staff meeting, you can already imagine the power of influencing a whole team meeting?

You can already see the power of embedded commands, visualise yourself at a promotional interview, as you see yourself answering the interviewers questions, imagine slipping in an embedded command without the interviewers knowledge, how would it feel to know how embedded commands can influence your job interviews?

I agree, you want to learn this pattern now and I would add, once you notice the many ways you can use embedded commands in your work and personal life you will start to feel excited about learning this new technique, imagine that little buzz in your stomach as you become more and more excited, like a tight excited bomb bouncing around, until the excited bomb explodes, sending excited feeling around your whole body! Feel that excited feeling now, as you get ready to learn these highly powerful techniques.

It’s not about how powerful embedded commands are, it’s about how naturally you can use embedded commands to influence others, how many days are you willing to practice this technique to become an expert?

OK, on with the technique. You have read this far, you are interested in learning about embedded commands and you already know the importance of practicing these techniques so you can use it to naturally persuade others.

  • First you need to set up the embedded command; the set up is sometimes referred to as weasel phrases: Example:

“When you..”

“You can…”

“The more you…”

“You want to..”

“If you were to…”

There are hundreds to choose from, when you can come up with other ideas, write them down.

  • Second, you need to add the “Command.” Example:

“Feel….”

“Think about…”

“Imagine…”

“Notice…”

“Remember..”

Remember you can think of many more command words, as the command word pop’s into your head, write it down and try it out.

  • To finish of the embedded command, you need to end the sentence with a State, Process or Experience (SPE’s): Example:

“A change of mind”

“Excitement”

“That I am right”

“You agree”

“Joy”

As you are already aware there are many SPE’s you can use, imagine you can come up with 3 new SPE’s, what would they be?

I agree, as you read the breakdown of the technique not all of it will make sense, but it’s not about if the breakdown makes sense yet, it’s about how you can learn to put it all together. As you read these next examples you will start to understand embedded commands better then before.

“When you feel excited” –  Feel excited is the command

“How does it feel to know that I am the right person for the job?”  – I am the right person for the job is the embedded command

“The more you think about how you can offer me the job the more you will notice what added value I can offer”Offer me the job and notice what added value I can offer are both embedded commands.

For embedded commands to be effective you first need to gain excellent rapport and the embedded command has to go unnoticed by others, for maximum effectiveness change your tone of voice when giving the command and leave a small gap before and after the command. For embedded commands to work talk slow, a good embedded command will by pass the conscious mind and head straight for the unconscious mind.

  • When using embedded commands during job interviews, the interviewer, once you have used embedded commands will feel it was there idea to offer you the position.

Finally re-read this article and see how many embedded commands you can find? the person who e-mails in with the highest number of embedded commands will win a free copy of the secrets of employment e-book.

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Use NLP Perceptual Positions to Improve your Interview Skills

Use NLP Perceptual Positions to Improve your Interview Skills

This NLP exercise helps see how you come across at interviews from different viewpoints, including the interviewers helping you gain new knowledge and understanding, which can be used to quickly improve your interview techniques.

“if you want a different result, do somthing different”

Think about a recent job interview that you feel could have gone better, a job interview that you wish you could have communicated differently or a job interview that left you feeling confused on how you can improve your interview techniques.

It is useful to fully read this technique before trying it.

1. Consider the Interview from your own perspective

Return to this interview fully in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred on the day of your interview. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible, (becoming totally associated with the emotions you had at the time of the interview) from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the interviewer you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did. Really relive this experience as you did at the time of the interview. At the end of this episode, rewind this movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.

Break your State by shaking your arms and legs!                                               

2. The Interviewers Position

Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the person interviewing you. Notice how the interviewer is breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are some of the things you know about this persons; what are their likes and dislikes?

Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the interviewer. Imagine you are inside the interviewer’s skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.

Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the interview from the interviewers chair and viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of the interviewer, their self talk and to any insights that surface as you observe the interviewee (you) in front of you.

Use the interviewer’s language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) ask the interviewee the interview questions asked at the time of the interview, look at how they respond and how they communicate to you the interviewer, what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this interviewers experience of the interview, how did the interviewee (you) come across?

After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.

Break state again by shaking or taking 3 deep breaths.                                            

3. The Interview Observer  

Return to the interview and from your own point of view, before you play out the interview for a third time, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the interviewer. Once again re-play the interview as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both the interviewee and the interviewer and how you both respond to each others communications.

After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.

Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end in the first position of you as the interviewee.

An NLP Life Coach can help you improve your interview skills using NLP techniques.

10 Ways to Stay Motivated at Work

Workplace Motivation

We have all been there on a Monday morning, you walk into work. No matter how many deadlines you have, you’re just not motivated to work – the Monday morning blues! How do you quickly become motivated?

Employment king have put together 10 quick tips to get you and keep you motivated at work. I use these techniques with my clients, when you first read some of the techniques, like my clients you may feel they sound silly, but once you try them you will soon see quick results.

Mind Magic

This is an NLP technique, if you have not come across NLP before, read the technique first before trying it.

1. You’re generally un-motivated because when you’re thinking of your working day most people, think about a time at work when you were bored or hating the job you are doing. This is generally a colour picture in your mind, often this picture is big and bright a plays out like a movie would. This image or film you generate makes you feel un-motivation, as our mind and emotions work as one. To get rid of these negative feelings (the Monday morning blues) In your mind, freeze the film/image, put a frame around the image and then move the image away from you, push really far back in your minds eye, making it smaller and smaller until the picture becomes a dot – how do you feel now? Has your un-motivated feeling gone? If you can still see the picture (and your feeling unmotivated) push the image further away, make it blurry or cover it in a mist – have the negative feelings gone? In most cases they have, if not repeat the exercise.

2. Now, in your mind, imagine yourself at work enjoying yourself, see yourself at your best, getting your work done, enjoying the duties your undertaking. Make this picture big, bring the picture close and make all the colours in the picture stronger and brighter. Imagine the picture the size of a cinema screen, press play and turn this image into a film, if you can, step into this film and watch the scene unfold from the eyes of the ‘you’ in the film. How do you feel? Good? Positive? Where does this good and positive feeling start in your body? In your stomach? In Your mind? Make the feeling stronger, imagine the feeling as a colour, what colour is it? Make it brighter. Describe this feeling and notice the feeling flowing through the whole of your body, notice the speed and direction the feeling has taken, notice the temperature of this positive feeling and make it stronger, double it! How do you feel now? Most people start to feel positive after this exercise, if you don’t try it again.

Set Goals – we like something to aim for

3. Set yourself some daily goals write them down and think about what you as a person will get out of achieving these goals? Use these goals to help you plan your day, we all work best when we have to archive something positive. Record why you want this goal, to get away from something? Boredom? Etc, or to gain something? Promotion? Etc. When planning your day add in a time(s) to stop and have a break.

 4. If you are working a big project and you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, break the project down in to realistic chunks. If your working with others, ensure everyone is clear on what they have to do and what the others are doing to meet the project completion date.

5. If you can’t do something, get help, many people stress about not being able to complete a task and feel they will look daft asking others for help. Most people are only too happy to help a colleague.

6. Have something to look forward to at night or at the weekend, if all your going to do is go home and wash the pots, you will start to feel negative, on the other hand, if you have a fun activity to do at night you will start feeling excited, this will put you into a good mood.

Exercise – a healthy body a healthy mind

7. Exercise is a great way to add to your motivation, exercise makes you feel healthy and feeling healthy makes you feel good. Exercise before work; go for a swim or run. Other people enjoy exercising after work and often say the exercise gives them a much needed boost after a hard days work.

8. Drink lots of water, always have a bottle of water near your desk. Our body needs to take in high amounts of water each day; drinking water has been proven to increase brain activity.

Extra – a little extra goes a long way

9. Use an image board; why do you work? Is it the money, looking for promotion, enjoy helping others – what ever your reason is for working (if it’s money, what will the money get you-holidays etc) put pictures of you doing this activity, buying the goods, being happy on a large notice bored, you can draw, paint, cut out pictures, put pictures of your head on top of a models – be creative like you would when you was in nursery school and fill a big A1 bored with all these fun images of you being at your best. Put this bored somewhere you will be able to see it everyday; on the back of your bedroom door, this is a great way for your unconscious mind to keep you motivated.

10. When you do something wrong at work, write it down and then circle it. Mind map all the things you have learnt from this mistake and what you can do to improve for the next time you have to complete the same task. Our mind enjoys learning and successful people throughout the world always see mistakes and an opportunity to learn and improve – what a great re-frame.