Workplace Influence; Internal and External Motivation  

 

Employees are motivated and influenced in different ways, one way is through internal or external references (or meta-frames for all you NLP-ers)

For some employees they are motivated externally, they need a ‘pat on the back’ or colleagues and managers to tell them that they did a good job. External motivated workers need to see the smile or their customers face and they buzz from meeting their targets. By gaining external praise these employees know they have done a good job which motivates them to work harder.

 

 

At the opposite axis, internal motivated people don’t need or want the ‘pat on the back’ because they know when they have done a good job, they don’t need to see a customers smile, or a chart representing how well they are doing. Internal people just know ‘know’ when they have done well and that’s all the praise they need. Even when a manger says you’re not doing well, the internally motivated employee will be unconvinced unless they agree with them.

Two chefs bake cakes, one internally motivated and one externally motivated. The internal chef will know he has done a good job he can just tell, if a customer leaves part of the cake after only one bite the internal chef won’t care as he knows this is the best cake he has made. The external chef may like his cake, but the proof will be all the empty plates he sees around him and the thanks he receives from his satisfied customers. Without this external reference he may worry about his ability and at the extreme never bake that same cake again.

Frame of Reference

Internal and external feedback is just a frame of reference; in the workplace you can use these frames of reference to motivate your employees, by speaking their language.

External employees need reassurance at all times, give it to them and their workload will increase. If you want them to do X tell how wonderful this thing is, how everyone would like to be a part of this team or project because external people will go with what others tell them.

Internally motivated employees just don’t care what others think, you may shout about the wonderful project until your red in the face but the internal employee will make his own decision.

To influence the internally motivated, you have to appeal to his own experience “last year you were part of the X team, I remember you telling how much you enjoyed the marketing side of the project, well this new project has a large marketing campaign, you should take look and decide if this is something you would like to be involved in?”

Is it one or the other?

We are all motivated by both our internal and external frame of reference, but generally people have a strong preference to one of these motivational traits. By speaking in language that they can reference can motivate and influence the employee in the workplace.

If you enjoyed this article you will also enjoy reading:

 

•  The Top 50 NLP Training Videos 
• Hypnotic Language Patterns in Job Interviews 
• Influence the Job Interview 

NLP Mind Tricks for Job Interviews

 

With a few well chosen words can you can take people inside themselves making them think about what it is you want them to think about. In a job interview situation, you will already agree by influencing the interviewers thoughts making them think about you being the best person for the job has all kinds of hidden power – and I was just wondering, if you possessed the skills to use hypnotic language patterns in job interviews, how many ways you could use these techniques to your advantage?

 

 

Erickson (a famous hypnotherapist – his work was modeled and adapted by John Grinder and Richard Bandler for NLP) used hypnotic and persuasive language patterns in his work to ensure his clients followed his suggestions. The same language patterns that were used to hypnotize people can be used in the job interview and you are probably already thinking about the hundreds of ways you can use these same techniques to get the results you desire.

 

An NLP Double Binds – offer choice where there is no choice.

When using a double bind you need to first think about your outcome – what you want to achieve. With an outcome in mind, you can offer a choice to a person which makes that individual think they have two options when both choices, in reality lead to the same end result.

Examples:

You can read all the examples or just one or two?

Example One: would you like to read the report in full or just skim through it?  Desired outcome to get the person to read your report

Example Two: In the next few minutes or right now, you can start to think about the project we discussed yesterday. Desired outcome to get the person to start thinking about the project

Interview Example: “I don’t know what you consider to be a success? The profit I increased in my last position or the quality awards I won for the company? You might consider doubling the turnover as a great success or you might agree with me, that increasing repeat business will establish a lasting increase in profits for the years to come. The way I XXX was A,B and C…..and that’s what I consider my greatest success to date”

In the interview example we were able to cover more then one base; increasing profits, doubling turnover, increasing repeat business. This a great trick to use when you don’t yet know what the employer deems important – when discussing the options you can learn to read the employers body language which means you can end your answer talking about the thing the employer is most impressed with.

Many people feel intrigued when reading techniques on influencing people, especially if they have been designed to double or triple your wage through passing more job interviews. As you have been reading this article, taking in the information we provided you can already feel yourself wanting to know more, which means you will want to read how to Influence the interview – using psychology, NLP and hypnotic persuasion techniques.

If you enjoyed this article you will also enjoy reading:

• How to Win at Job Interviews
• Hypnotic Language Patterns in Job Interviews
• Pacing and Leading

Spotting Liars for Skill for Interveiwers 

We have had such a good response from the recent article How to read micro facial expressions with people wanting to learn more about spotting liars, that we have written a follow-up article to teach you how to spot liars.

WARNING: Before going any further and learning how to really know if someone is lying to you, you first need to ask yourself – do I really want to know? Remember sometimes ignorance is bliss and knowing that someone is lying to you can HURT you.

The techniques you are about to learn are powerful and are used in specialist industries such as: police force, security experts, M15, immigration officials and with CEO’s in multi-million-pound business deals

Lie to Me – The Basics

As mention in the last article, how to read micro facial expressions, when reading people you need to look for clusters and don’t make opinions on just one expression or body movement.

Body language – when being truthful people will use a wide range of hand expressions and movements as people often talk with their hands. Liars will unconsciously limit their arm movements looking stiffer than natural

Touching Lips – when lying we unconsciously try and stop the lie from coming out by covering our mouths, liars will also touch their nose or ear when lying.

Red Faced – liars tend to get hot “hot under the collar” is a common phrase used. Liars can become red-faced or may play with their collar to cool down, others will scratch their neck when lying – remember look for clusters

Moving Away – liars will often feel uncomfortable lying to your face and will unconsciously turn their body away from yours wanting to get away quickly

Micro Expressions – liars will give away their lie through micro-expressions (for full details click the link above) when faking an emotion the expression is often limited – look at these two pictures of the man smiling:

 

Which one is faking?

The picture on the right is a true smile, the secret here is the crow’s feet on the eyes- to learn more about facial expressions click the above links or read this book by the expert in facial expressions Paul Ekman (above) – CLICK IMAGE

Reading People

Timing – often a liar will say something and then follow this up with an emotion or gesture, while truthful people will say something and make the gesture at the same time.  Check this at Christmas when people are opening their presents they will say “I love it” and then make a smile – a sign that they don’t truly “love it”

Out of Time – Gestures are often off pace when lying, emotional displays are delayed and then suddenly stop

Defensive – a guilty person will often get defensive in conversation, whereas innocent people often become offensive

Building Barriers – Liars will often want to hide away from you, protecting them and will build barriers between you and them; this could be sitting on a chair the wrong way round so the back of the chair is a barrier between you and them. They also use a book or other object and hold this in front of them.

Hearing Lies

Copy Cat – liars will often copy the exact words you use to answer a question “did you steal the spare change?” Liar: “No, I did not steal the spare change”

Sticking to the Facts – truthful people will often tell a story and as the story is progressing will naturally go off on a tangent, liars will tell a “well-planned story” in a more factual way with any additional “add-ons”

Not Answering the Question – many people don’t like to lie, and instead of lying will answer a different question or just imply an answer

Difficult Silences – Liars will often want to fill silences

Distancing Language – liars will often use distancing language, with Bill Clinton famously saying “I did not have sex with that women”
rather than saying her name, he distanced himself using the word “that” to avoid thinking about the person/situation.

Eye Accessing Cues 

When asking a person a question you can watch the person’s eye movements to detect if the person is accessing an emotion or remembering or constructing a sound or image.

To practice this, ask a friend the questions below and check their eye movement against the chart (for some the eye accessing cues will be opposite) When questioning a liar, you can ask the person several truths to gain a baseline and then ask them a question to see if they are lying (accessing constructed images)

Remember as we all detecting lie techniques you must look for clusters.

Looking Up and to the right-Visual Remembered

What is the colour of the shirt you wore yesterday?

Which of your friends has the shortest hair?

Looking up and to the left-Visual Constructed

What would your room look like if it were painted yellow with big purple
circles?

Can you imagine the top half of a tiger on the bottom half of an elephant?

Looking to the Right (towards ears) -Auditory Remembered

What does your best friend’s voice sound like?

Which is louder, your doorbell or your telephone?

Looking to the Left (towards ears) – Auditory Constructed

What will your voice sound like in 10 years?

What would it sound like if you played your two favorite pieces of music at the same time?

Looking down to the Right – Auditory Digital

What is something you continually tell yourself?

What are your thoughts about this article?

Looking Down to the Left-Kinaesthetic

What does it feel like to walk barefoot on a cool sandy beach?

What does it feel like when you rub your fingers on sandpaper?

Today you will learn how to read micro expressions, this means you will have the power to really understand what is going on in someones mind, as micro expressions are hard to hide which means you will really know what the other person is thinking, just by looking at their face.

• This Article will teach you how to read micro expressions and later you can participate in an interactive micro expression test

Research into micro expressions is being extended, as psychologist like Paul Ekman (the leading expert in micro expressions and emotions) has proven that certain micro expressions such as Anger, Contempt and Happiness are universal. These studies will help people in professions such as Airport Security, Police, MI5, Teachers, Coaches and a whole range of other industries. Why? Because if you can read micro expressions you can understand how the person is really feeling, which is Different to how they say they are feeling.

I agree people can fake smiles and other emotions, but micro expressions happen so quick and are so  instant that if you the micro reader blink you can miss them. This is why reading micro expressions is a key to understanding how someone really feels, as the subject often doesn’t know that they have made them – micro movements are made through unconscious movements of the muscles

How to Read Micro Expressions

 

1. Sadness – narrowed eyes, eyebrows together, down-pointed mouth, and a pulling up of the chin

2. Anger – lowered eyebrows, tense lips and eye lids and wrinkled forehead

3.  Contempt – single raised corner of the mouth, slight tightening of the eyelids (sneer)

4. Disgust – raising of upper lip, narrowed eyes, wrinkled nose and narrowed eye brows

5. Surprise – dropped jaw, relaxed lips and mouth, widened eyes and slightly raised eyelids and eyebrows

6.  Fear – eyes and mouth open rather widely, eyebrows raised and nostrils flared

7. Happiness – raising corner of lips and cheeks, narrowing eyes to produce “crow’s feet” on the outside of each eye

 

Tim Roth (above) Stars as Dr Cal Lightman in the hit series Lie to Me, a great show where Dr Lightman and his team tackle a weekly mystery by reading micro expressions, body language and verbal cues.

 

So, back to reading micro expressions. To become an expert you need to practice, re-read the emotion explanations and then watch this facial expression video on YouTube Facial Expression Tutorial by Khappucino 

Go over this video a couple of times, to increase your facial reading abilities and then take a Micro Facial Reading Expression Test

• Paul Ekman FACE Training – you will need to tick the terms and conditions
• CIO Facial Expression Test

How did you do? Remember the more you practice the better you will become and as with all mind/body/language reading you need to look for clusters and not to make judgments on single instances

If you want to learn more about Emotions and Facial Expression, learn from the master himself Paul Ekman, read his amazing book Emotions Revealed. Buy the Book Now by clicking the image below:

If You Enjoyed this Article You Will Also Enjoy Reading:

• NLP – Secrets of Success
• How to Persuade and Influence Others
• Motivational Language
• How to Tell If Someone is lying – A MUST READ ARTICLE